Four hours of a lackluster TV wedding special, weeks of royal
wedding-sized wonder about what her dress would look like and the
promise of true love in TV land -- ladies and gentlemen, we've been
duped. Although we were disappointed to hear that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries were divorcing before we could finishing naming all of the jesters in the Kardashian/Jenner empire, we were actually a bit surprised.
Wouldn't momager Kris Jenner have made the apparently unhappy couple
do the polite thing and stay hitched for at least a year? She must have
skipped that chapter in her reality empire handbook. But the Kardashian
crew's latest stunt (which appears to be a legitimate dissolution of
marriage) may be just what it takes to push the Kardashian fiending
public over the edge, back to a time when America's first family lived
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue not Calabasas. Enough is enough, here's why:
Trapped in a Diamond Encrusted Case of Emotion
When Kim announced in May that she and Kris Humphries were to tie the knot, we couldn't have been happier for the 30-year-old reality star who began husband material auditions immediately after little sister Khloe beat her to the punch with her own Kardashian-sized wedding. Heck, we were even hoping for a wedding special to document each step that Kim took with her Frankenstein-sized sweetie. And although she may be hurting, we are too! There was nary a dry eye (you know who you are) in living rooms across the country as Kim stepped out on her big day. We want those tears back!
When Kim announced in May that she and Kris Humphries were to tie the knot, we couldn't have been happier for the 30-year-old reality star who began husband material auditions immediately after little sister Khloe beat her to the punch with her own Kardashian-sized wedding. Heck, we were even hoping for a wedding special to document each step that Kim took with her Frankenstein-sized sweetie. And although she may be hurting, we are too! There was nary a dry eye (you know who you are) in living rooms across the country as Kim stepped out on her big day. We want those tears back!
Get Rich Or Divorced Tryin'According to the New York Post, the couple made roughly $17.9 million off of their nuptials -- seemingly making the pair the smartest couple in all of Hollywood. From $2.5 million for pictures sold to People magazine to $12 to $15 million for their two night E! wedding special bonanza, although they may be devastated that their marriage didn't last more than 72 days, they're wiping their tears with Benjamins. If the couple did in fact rake in $17.9 in exchange for two simple words, "I do," then that means they made $10,358 per hour of their 72-day marriage. Question: Does this make us feel bad for them? Answer: No.
Life's Tough, Get A Helmet
Although she stole hours of our lives, could it be that Kim Kardashian was actually teaching America and the world an important lesson with her 72-days of wedded "bliss"? Kim might just be the mother we never had, who instead of relaying fables of 'happily ever after' has taken it upon herself to be the poster child for reality: "The bigger the ring, the bigger the divorce settlement." Stick that on a pillow, Kim. Either way, she's got us in Champagne glass half empty mode now.
Among all the latest Kardashian stories there’s been one major theme, and that is that the general public,
not just the heavy gossip consumers like us, are sick of these bitches,
particularly Kim, and are ready to see them go away permanently. We’ve
all been saying this for some time, but it took a while for the tide to
turn and it really has. Last night’s Entertainment Tonight asked if the
Kardashian empire was crumbling, and it definitely seems to be. There
are several petitions to take their shows off their air, the most active of which has over 100,000 signatures and an accompanying website, BoycottKim.com. The website is an amusing parody and brief commentary on the Karadashians, although the brands
to boycott section is incomplete. That’s probably because it’s nearly
impossible to keep up with all the crap these people have slapped their
name on.
Well advertisers are worried and wary of the Kardashians, according to ET, as is E!’s parent company, Comcast. ET claimed last night that they had a source that confirmed that “Comcast is concerned about the Kardashian franchise.” A journalist for Hollywood Reporter, Leslie Bruce, really summed things up during ET’s segment. She said “The Kardashian brand relies solely on it’s authenticity, and viewers really believing that they have a window into their life. Without that really what do the Kardashians have?”
What’s more is that the Kardashian sisters have a new book out called Dollhouse.
It’s very thinly veiled fiction about their lives, with three sisters
called Kamille, Kassidy, and Kyle who live in L.A. with their
controlling mom and her new husband, a former professional baseball
player. Their rich dad died a few years prior and now they’re hustling
to keep up their luxurious lifestyle. The existence of this book just
brings home how fake this family is and how much krap they’re trying to
sell us without possessing any talent or a intelligence.
If you do a google news search on Kardashian,
all the top results are about the petition to take them off their air.
There’s also news that Kim ditched her best friend, Brittny Gastineau,
shortly after she got married. Brittny’s mom told Radar
that Brittny was concerned about Kim jumping into her marriage with
Kris Humphries too fast. After Kim got married, she shut Brittny out.
She also seems to have shut her husband out, and to have simultaneously
slammed the door on all the easy money she was making. Narcissists aren’t very good at maintaining relationships after all.
Here are Kourtney and Khloe promoting their new book in New Jersey yesterday. Look at how orange Kourtney’s face is! And her pantsuit is ridiculous. Kim was a no show.
